Excuse me, sir. Are you the moon? Because I need you
238,900 miles away from me.
You make me want to go to Hogwarts
so I can make you disappear.
Oh my god you’re so funny…looking.
Are we at the rodeo?
Because this conversation is bullshit.
You look so strong. Why don’t you go take down the patriarchy
and heteronormative ideals while I sit over here and watch?
Your advances and excess touching and jokes are all so funny
I decided to tell them to my lawyer.
You make me think all kinds of naughty things,
like where to hide a body.
If I had a nickel for every time I heard that line,
I would throw them all at you.
You want to know how I got these guns?
Working out because I’m terrified of violent masculinity!
You remind me of 1919,
the way I don’t have a say in this exchange.
Can I please have 78% of the time you’re giving me, please?
You and my bra have something in common—
You’re both annoying and make everything less enjoyable.
You look like a wonderful piece of meat,
You would look great under a butcher knife.
You must be a tree the way I see you and think,
leave.
2019
Regular
Spoken Word
Humor & Satire
Womanhood
Allusion
an expression designed to call something to mind without mentioning it explicitly; an indirect or passing reference
Sarcasm
the use of irony to mock or convey contempt
Satire
Needs a definition