Sierra DeMulder

Sierra DeMulder is an internationally-recognized poet, educator, and podcast host. She is a two-time National Poetry Slam champion, a five-time published author (The Bones Below, New Shoes, on a Dead Horse, We Slept Here, Today Means Amen, and Ephemera), and the co-host of Just Break Up, a globally popular advice podcast. In her freshman year of college, she discovered and fell in love with the spoken word. After plenty of spoken word performances, DeMulder shifted away from the slam poetry scene into the academic/publishing world. In an interview, DeMulder said, “I am honored by the image I have of people who read my poems and hold them. I so often think of those people, so many young women, who hold my books late at night.” In her most recent book, Ephemera, DeMulder touches on themes such as seasonality, nature, death, life, and the fragility of time. In all, the book is a movement from death to new life. Moreover, inspired by her experiences as a queer woman, mother, and survivor, her work often explores themes of womanhood, family, love, loss, and mental health. She regularly tours, performing at high schools, colleges, prisons, churches, and homeless shelters. Sierra lives in upstate New York with her wife and daughter.

After Googling Affirmations for Abuse Survivors

You have a fundamental right to a nurturing

environment. Oh, what a home I have

built in my skull. What a dark, feral

forest. There is no furniture, no artisan

humanity. No gentle place to undress

my own thoughts.

You are a valuable human. I think about death

too often. I eat peanut butter with my

fingers. I pee in the shower. I am

a mouthful. Not a swallow. Not a bird

or a name gone sour in his mouth.

If you allow yourself to be mistreated, you are

teaching that it is okay for others to

abuse you. And look at this shining

curriculum! The lessons I have been

prepping for months! Now, class,

take out your inner child. Tell her

she is so selfish. Tell her she shouldn’t

have eaten the last of the truffles.

Tell her to take a good long look

at love: her father gripping the throat

of the payphone.

You cannot assume responsibility or accept

blame for any abusive behavior. I am

so sorry so sorry sorry so sorry he is

so sorry sorry sorry so so sorry again

and again the conductor lifts her baton

and the musicians tilt their horns and

the song begins again.

You do not have to feel guilty for allowing others

to take care of themselves. But what

do I do with all this leftover love?

My hands were built for crawling on.

How do I write myself gently? How

do I not worship the shipwreck that

stranded me here?

You are not a failure or less of a person because

you make mistakes. I am not a failure

or less of a person because I make

mistakes. I write this until my hand

becomes a beggar. I write this until

the words no longer sound like words,

only sounds, and I can believe them now.

Your higher power is transforming your brokenness

and gently carrying you from darkness

into light. I believe in gentleness. Lord,

I believe in light. I am my own higher

power. I will carry myself out.

Published:

2015

Length:

Regular

Literary Movements:

Contemporary

Anthology Years:

2023

Themes:

Love & Relationships

Strength & Resilience